can't remember

i don't remember the last time i felt really secure about myself.
this new free spirit that i embodied gave me a sense of direction to nowhere.
i know where i want to end up but the journey there is quite blurry.
i'm not sure of what i will learn more about myself but right now, it is up in the air.


i'm not into other people because basically i'm not in a relationship with anyone but myself.
it's this surreal feeling that makes me want to love only myself and have this selfish persona yet care for others as if they were family.
i have this nonchalant, let's have the time of our lives, let loose, give into temptations, explore new feelings outlook in life.
however, i want to have that feeling back.
i want to know how it is to love someone and have them love you back.

all i want right now is "SI VIS AMARI, AMA"

i had it for at least 5 years of my life but i want it back.
i don't want the same person but i want someone now.
i want to know that i feel important to someone.
i want to know that i mean the world to someone.
i want to know that flashing my smile makes their day.
everything and in return.

but alas, i stay here, in my own little corner. listening to some emo songs on imeem to get some sort of satisfaction in life.
i go with my daily routine, never thinking of relationships and never day-dreaming of my beautiful stranger.

the funk that i am in right now needs to go because i can't feel sorry for myself.

all the complications that i have to deal with has to wait because honestly, i'm not taking life that seriously right now.
i don't care about what society think is necessary to live because i'm trying to figure out what the hell i'm doing.
i don't even make sense right now. i feel like a mess but i don't know how i ended up here. i thought i had everything in control but i got lost in the way.

i guess i'll just drown it with my studies and pretend that memorizing urea cycle will get me somewhere in life.

unicorn

Strangers. After a few more months/yrs...everything the two of you went thru will feel like a dream that may or may not have happened.

san dimas high school football rules

one step at a time.
that's all i need right now.
i'm finally over a lot of boys in my life.
searching.. no...
learning how to meet other boys.. yes!