hindi na ko kaya yung buhay ko.

failed.

I feel like a total FAILURE.

There are so many things I need to attend to and I haven't been getting everything done.

I don't know who to turn to and it makes me feel real lonely.

I know I should turn to Him, but I have been such a bad server of God that I don't deserve even his love.

unencumbered words

I'm happy where I am, even without you around.
Don't need some mere mortal love, 'cause without it I'm still heaven bound.
Though I like the sound of it,
You possibly being my man.
Gonna stop these thoughts - distractions.
While I'm still here, While I still can.

nothing is sacred anymore

Finally, my thoughts are faster than my words. Why am I excited about this? It's because everything is thought-provoking. Life is giving me questions and I am in a search to find answers. I'm not trying to instigate anything, I just want to have a discussion. A discussion about one particular issue.

Nothing is sacred anymore.

Chivalry is dead.

Most things in life are being taken for granted.

When people say that life is too short, what do you think the consequences are? Everything is being rushed these days. No one can really take a step back and smell the roses. Everyone needs to be in the know of everything. It's ridiculous how one day you can meet a person and the very same day, they can break your heart. Nothing lingers anymore. No mysteries because technology solves most of them.

I am about to sound really hypocritical.

I hate the fact that I depend so much on the internet. I hate the fact that I constantly need to be online. It's nothing wrong, it's how our society works these days. However, it's taking a toll now. Why is it that we rather be on our cell phones, laptops, and etc. when there is real people in real time standing right in front of you.

I think my new pet peeve these days is that when I hang out with people, they are constantly on their phone texting. (Yes, I am being a hypocrite at this point) It's like a big slap on the face because I feel that I'm not worthy of their attention.

If you are so adamant about texting that person on your cell-phone, why bother hanging out with me and just be with the other person?

Granted there are exceptions, like emergency or that person is in long distance. I'm just talking in a more general sense.

It seems as if people are always thinking the next step. Living in the moment, what is that? Constant motion and there seems no alternatives.

Nothing is sacred anymore.

a day in history

i applied for graduation.

eek.

can't remember

i don't remember the last time i felt really secure about myself.
this new free spirit that i embodied gave me a sense of direction to nowhere.
i know where i want to end up but the journey there is quite blurry.
i'm not sure of what i will learn more about myself but right now, it is up in the air.


i'm not into other people because basically i'm not in a relationship with anyone but myself.
it's this surreal feeling that makes me want to love only myself and have this selfish persona yet care for others as if they were family.
i have this nonchalant, let's have the time of our lives, let loose, give into temptations, explore new feelings outlook in life.
however, i want to have that feeling back.
i want to know how it is to love someone and have them love you back.

all i want right now is "SI VIS AMARI, AMA"

i had it for at least 5 years of my life but i want it back.
i don't want the same person but i want someone now.
i want to know that i feel important to someone.
i want to know that i mean the world to someone.
i want to know that flashing my smile makes their day.
everything and in return.

but alas, i stay here, in my own little corner. listening to some emo songs on imeem to get some sort of satisfaction in life.
i go with my daily routine, never thinking of relationships and never day-dreaming of my beautiful stranger.

the funk that i am in right now needs to go because i can't feel sorry for myself.

all the complications that i have to deal with has to wait because honestly, i'm not taking life that seriously right now.
i don't care about what society think is necessary to live because i'm trying to figure out what the hell i'm doing.
i don't even make sense right now. i feel like a mess but i don't know how i ended up here. i thought i had everything in control but i got lost in the way.

i guess i'll just drown it with my studies and pretend that memorizing urea cycle will get me somewhere in life.

unicorn

Strangers. After a few more months/yrs...everything the two of you went thru will feel like a dream that may or may not have happened.